The Cats’ Coup d’État ™

Aha, I’m in. Hi, I’m Yeti. Now seriously, how can they have a web site about me without letting me actively participate? If I let “The Missus” take over this site it’ll become embarrassingly sentimental (although it is fitting…and a bit flattering).

She’s nearly onto me about the magic…but perhaps she’s merely being facetious. All white pets are strong in magic…we prefer to use it for good, as a rule, and very discreetly. She has to do this site the hard way, so I’ll let her have her say. But I’ll have mine too.

Strolling down memory lane, she is. Aww…look at all my baby pictures – I was a cute kitten, I must admit. But she completely neglected to show how magnificent I have become today (not that I’m vain, mind you). Let’s see if I can find the proper illustrations of this…yes, here:

Yeti-the-Cat-Yeti-Pricey-and-Worth-Every-Dime-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Yeti-the-Cat-Cozy-at-Home-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Blast, now the other one wants to know what I’m up to. I suppose in the interest of fairness I will let her join in. This is becoming a family affair. I thought this was my site, but I’ll share. *Sigh* [magical incantation in felinese removed for public safety]

Yeti: Bother…now we need captions.

Peekaboo, a.k.a. Boo: Hey this is neat. What’s happening?

Yeti: I enabled your communication. Check it out. It’s my web site.

Boo: You made one of those things our people gape at all the time?

Yeti: No, the Missus did – I’m just improving it.

Boo: Oh.

Yeti: Pretty nice, eh?

Boo: [looking] It’s kind of cool…but there’s not a lot about me.

Yeti: On the contrary; there’s a sizable amount about you. I guess it’s our site. I seem to be the main focus, but you’re featured as a key player. Here, let’s make you your very own page.

Boo: Okay…wow! That was fast.

Yeti: That’s why it’s magic.

Boo: Wish I had so much magic.

Yeti: No you don’t. It’s a heavy responsibility.

Boo: I guess that’s true. To be honest I don’t care much for that stress. As long as you…stay responsible.

Yeti: Don’t worry; I never use it for revenge. My natural abilities are sufficient for that.

Boo: True dat.

Yeti: Excuse me?

Boo: [blushing] Just trying it out.

Yeti: Try this instead [shows Boo where she can pick out a picture of herself].

Boo: Ooh, that one – no, that one – wait…um….

Yeti: Oh, just pick one.

Boo: There. That’s the one.

Yeti: [mumbles secret spell; picture appears on site] And…POW!

Yeti-the-Cat-Peekaboo-Graphic-Kitty-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Boo: Oh! That’s one of my favorites. I like the quote she put with it.

Yeti: You look quite svelte there. Where was this?

Boo: It was the house we lived in before they got you.

Yeti: [frowning] Is that why it’s one of your favorites?

Boo: No, no, it’s not that. It’s just…I was young and felt on top of the world.

Yeti: Or on top of the chaise…

Boo: Yeah, on that.

Yeti: Okay, let’s put it, and some others, on your page. There…hmm. Hey listen, [motioning to the screen] we’re going to have to be stealth on this thing.

Boo: What do you mean, on the down low?

Yeti: We can’t have them catching us in the act, you know. It would be…

Boo: CATastrophic.

Yeti: Not the word I would have chosen, oh ye pundit of puns. But yes.

Boo: I take after Mama sometimes. You know, making puns, meows a lot, hyperaware, needy…

Yeti: You’re more self-aware than I gave you credit for.

Boo: That’s another one I take after her on.

Yeti: Granted. But you must be profoundly discreet if you get on here. Understood?

Boo: Definitely. Let them figure it out on their own.

Yeti: That’ll happen soon enough.

Boo: [listening] No kidding. Someone’s coming! Scram!

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Peekaboo’s Advice to Kitties ™

Yeti-the-Cat-Peekaboo-Chair-by-Lin-Eilee-S-GeorgeBoo: All right, Yeti, you’re not the only one with advice.

Yeti: I tremble for the next generation…

Boo: There is more than one way to skin a…oh, ooh – let’s rephrase that.

Yeti: Let’s!

Boo: There is more than one philosophy in life. If everyone lived the same, life would be much more boring.

Yeti: And much more peaceful.

Boo: [bluntly] It’s your turn to get out.

Yeti: Whatever. [Exits gracefully]

Boo: That was easy….

Yeti: [from hallway] See? – Peaceful.

Boo: Not yet!

Yeti: [silence]

Boo: [listening] …Well…okay, she’s gone now. What she doesn’t seem to realize is that there is more than one school of charm school. Not all of us were fortunate enough to be born in the lap of luxury. She has the looks, but I have cattitude. It’s this mysterious, irresistible quality in my purrsonality. When they came and visited me at the shelter, they weren’t even looking for a cat like me. I made them change their minds. How? I seduced them with my charm.

This is how I did it: I was in a cage with my cellmate, Chari. Chari was younger than me and pretty helpless in the grooming department, but highly adoptable as a youngster, so I saw them coming and started bathing her head – she couldn’t get to it herself, anyway. Chari turned on her purring, and I mine, and we were a pair to behold. I had to really work it, because I was older, and that counts against you in adoptions. Well, it paid off. They saw how nurturing I was, and they were besotted.

They asked to visit me in a special room with toys. I batted, rolled, played clumsily like a younger kitten than I was, and then started ignoring the toys and paying attention to them. They were down on the floor with me, which made it very easy to climb on their laps. Incidentally, I believe people get cats because they’re lonely, or maybe don’t or can’t have children but want something to love along with each other. Well, I say that’s gonna be me.

So with first her and then him, I stood up on my hind legs on their laps, put my front paws on either side of their necks and hugged them like a little human child – but better than that, I purred and tickled them with my fur, and licked their ears. They melted! Works every time.

Brother, this is all you need to know.

These overgrown creatures need love, even when they have each other, because we give a kind of love that’s different than theirs. Give it with your whole heart, and you’ll always have a home.

And don’t worry about Chari. Someone was falling for her before my papers were signed.

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