Cat’s Eyes ™(Part 1)

Blinking feline/marble cat's eyes

Boo: Why don’t our people’s eyes glow in the dark like ours?

Yeti: The poor things are relatively blind. I don’t know if that’s cause or effect.

Boo: And why do your eyes glow a different color than mine?

Yeti: I guess because they start out different colors. Missus says your yellow-green ones glow turquoise, and my baby blues glow…[sigh]…red.

Boo: And even to me you look truly evil then, when they’re red.

Yeti: [Pouting] I can’t help it. As long as it helps me multiply light in darker areas, I’m pleased that it’s at least functional.

Boo: Don’t you think that it’s peculiar that we have limited color perception while we simultaneously have so many colors in our eyes?

Yeti: [Taken aback by Boo’s improved vocabulary] Why, yes. I do. You really sounded smart just then!

Boo: What, you think that I don’t know any big words? [Grins]

Yeti: Well, it’s not reasonable to expect me to – unless you use them.

Boo: [Nodding, then shrugging] It still doesn’t feel natural. I’ll have to get used to it bit by bit.

Yeti: I can see that.

Boo: Even in the dark.

Yeti-and-Peekaboo-Laser-Cats

 

Momster! ™

a500VampireCatsYeti and Boo are taking a break, and, uncharacteristically, Yeti is actually allowing Boo to soothingly bathe her head.

Boo: Wow, you need to relax; you’re really tense. So, what’s on your mind?

Yeti: I don’t like how Mama sounds lately.

Boo: You must be worried; you just called Missus “Mama”! And you’ve hardly left her side for days.

Yeti: She hasn’t spoken for days; she just squeaks and rasps, coughs and wheezes. I want to make sure she’s okay.

Boo: People sure seem to get sick worse than cats.

Yeti: And stay that way a long time.

Boo: I don’t like her wheezing either.

Yeti: It certainly doesn’t sound good. Poor…Mom.

Boo: Her noises sound like those of monsters. Unless I’m looking at her, I think we’ve been invaded by them.

Yeti: Luckily, there’s no such thing as monsters.

Boo: [Matter-of-factly] Yes there are.

Yeti: [Making a face] Have you ever seen one?

Boo: Well, not in person – not at all, really. But they exist.

Yeti: Reallll-ly. What do they look like?

Boo: I – I don’t know. But they sound like Missus.

Yeti: You don’t know how they sound any more than you know what they look like. Here, let’s approach this scientifically. Are there any credible reports of sightings?

Boo: Almost every child in existence reports sightings!

Yeti: A tired, hysterical child’s imagination is hardly reliable. Rational adults – and cats – never see them. Explain that.

Boo: [Smugly] Adults report seeing Bigfoot – and…Yetis too! And I’m looking at one right now!

Yeti: [Rolling eyes] I’m different – one of a kind – and hardly monstrous. Try again.

Boo: Stop using logic on me – they’re real! It’s proven by scientists somewhere… [noting Yeti’s skeptical stare] – it must be, somewhere!

Yeti: [Shaking head] Conjecture. You can’t give me a source or even describe one. Okay, Miss Know-it-All, if they’re real, and documented in the scientific community, what genus and species are they?

Boo: What – how should I know?

Yeti: [Swishing tail] Binomial nomenclature, please.

Boo: You know I don’t speak Latin.

Yeti: Nope – just gibberish.

[A disheveled Missus/Mom staggers into the room, wrapped in blankets, hair askew, face chapped, thermometer in mouth, wielding two tissue boxes, and startles them with a sudden violent hacking fit.]

Yeti and Boo: MONSTER!!!

cYetiYellYeti-and-Boo-Fight-Their-Fear

Cat’s Eyes (Part 2): Yikes, Yeti! ™

Blinking feline/marble cat's eyes

Yeti: Looks like it’s nearly time for Meowloween again. Mister brought home a heap of candy yesterday.

Boo: Hooray! [Licks chops]

Yeti: Come on, you know better than that.

Boo: I can dream. Wonder if it’ll even last until the freaky little humans come to the door; he usually has to get reinforcements. It seems to be the only thing that works to make them go away. I wish I could get food for just hanging around by a door!

Yeti: You’d never leave it. Luckily this only happens once a year. Frankly, I get a little creeped out by all the scary-looking kids beating on the door.

Boo: Well, you can just creep them out right back.

Yeti: As angelic as I look? Surely you jest.

Boo: Ha, you don’t see yourself in the “light” I get to sometimes. And don’t call me Shirley.

Yeti: [Groaning] That joke’s way older than Missus.

Boo: [Glibly] I appreciate the classics.

Yeti: Still – I think your comment on my image shows that you’re delusional.

Boo: Hardly. I have documentation.

Yeti: Oh really?

Boo: Yes. Like this:

Yeti-the-Cat-Demon-Figment-Of-Imagination

Yeti: Oh my. That’s not Photoshopped is it?

Boo: You know I’m too lazy to set you up doing all that work. And there’s plenty more:

Yeti-Demon-Kitty-Secret-Lair-Kill-U

Yeti: [Wincing] Oh…oh! That’s even from when I was still little. How often does this happen?

Boo: Enough to amuse Missus to put such goofy captions to them. Gotta love irony.

Yeti: [Pouts] I don’t think it’s funny.

Boo: I do!

Yeti-Demon-Cat-U-Next

Yeti: Stop showing those things! I look possessed. [Frowns]

Boo: Oh, come on, I do it too. Embrace the magic. It’s almost Meowloween.

Yeti: Well…maybe I can scare off those creepy kiddies, if I can work the light angle right.

Boo: You’re better equipped with the red eye. Positively evil. It’s such great contrast against your normal appearance.

Yeti: [Nodding with a mischievous smirk] They won’t know what hit ’em.

Boo: Atta girl. Now stop looking at me like that.

Yeti: I can’t help it!

Happy Meow-loween ™

Yeti-the-Demon-Kitty-Not-Pleased-w-Ur-Offering

Yeti: Darn it, Missus totally blew my plan to scare the kids, with this costume.

Boo: I wish we could trade.

Yeti: [Shifting and struggling in her outfit] I wish we had opposable thumbs.

Boo: It’s no use. Missus is genius with fasteners.

Yeti: But shows no imagination in her character choices for us. I’m so typecast.

Boo: And I’m not? Please.

Yeti: [Turning this way and that admiring herself] I do look pretty fetch, though.

Boo: And it begins.

Both: Happy Meowloween!

Boo-Yeti-the-Cats-Happy-Meowloween