Boo: Man, there sure is a pile of shiny, slippery, clutter coming in every day. Mister and Missus just gave up and dumped it all here. I’ve been charging through all these things all day. It makes a great slide – try it!
Yeti: No thanks. I don’t like them.
Boo: Why not?
Yeti: Our people don’t like them.
Boo: Why not? They don’t hurt anything.
Yeti: Missus says they kill trees. I mean, look at all of them. How many trees is this?
Boo: They don’t look like…what do you mean? Are they trees, or do they kill trees? It can’t be both…can it?
Yeti: Paper somehow comes from wood. They kill the trees to make these things.
Boo: Well that’s too bad. Wait. “They” who?
Yeti: The people who send them.
Boo: Send them why?
Yeti: Because they seem to think it’s going to make our People think some different way. They’re doing this thing called “voting”.
Boo: What’s voting?
Yeti: A stressful thing. There’s been lots of talk of it in the evenings, and research being done online…and groaning and gnashing of teeth. From what I gather, it’s an exercise in lying to oneself about people who regularly lie about not lying to them.
Boo: That’s confusing as all get out.
Yeti: That’s why it’s doublespeak.
Boo: People sure do lots of things they hate. They must be unbalanced.
Yeti: That’s what they said about some of “them”.
Boo: What “they” who said about “them” who?
Yeti: Whom.
Boo: I just asked you that.
Yeti: No, about “Them” whom. That’s what they – our people – said about them.
Boo: “Them” whom then?
Yeti: “Them” the ones Missus and Mister vote for…or don’t.
Boo: Huh? [Giving up] You’re too fluent in doublespeak yourself. I think you’re one of “them”. You’re as unbalanced as any of “them”.
Yeti: At least I’m not a tree-killer.
Boo: [Pouting] B-b-but that contributes absolutely nothing to the slippery slide!
