Tag Archives: CatSpat

Meowy Christmas! ™

By | | ,
Comments Off on Meowy Christmas! ™

Peekaboo and Yeti: Today we’re going to discuss The Holidays.

Boo: We capitalize this term for the occasions, because they seem to be very, very important to our humans.

Yeti: There are several, apparently, but our favorite one our people celebrate is called –

Both: Christmas!

Yeti-the-Cat-Meowy-Christmas-Peekaboo-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Boo: Christmas is a time of music, rushing around, too many things in the house, shiny paper and bobbing ribbons, crinkly bags and sacks to hide in, sometimes travel, and people acting crazy by oscillating from really congenial to totally stressed out.

Yeti: The task at hand for felines is to provide comic relief in the times of tension, and perhaps win a special treat or toy in the process.

Boo: Of course, you readily can find your own of each, everywhere you turn. All the best toys come at this time of year, and the food starts being of a different and more exotic variety.

Yeti: I suppose anything different from the norm is termed “exotic”. I still just like my regular food.

Boo: Your life is so dull.

Yeti: I’m cool with it. I experiment elsewhere.

Boo: I like to experiment whenever the opportunity presents itself – especially where food is concerned.

Yeti: Your interpretation of “opportunity” greatly differs from that of our People. And in this case it often leads to acute gastric distress and solitary confinement.

Boo: But it’s worth it. Carpe diem.

Yeti: Seize the day, not seize the duck.

Boo: Mmm, duck.

Yeti: Slipped right out of you it did.

Boo: It was kind of greasy…caused a little leakage.

Yeti: Boundaries, Boo! TMI.

Boo: [blushes as she looks back at Yeti] Pardon.

Yeti: Be sure not to overdo it; remember that this is a season of giving and kindness.

Boo: Then I would like to give you a bath behind the ears without a fight.

Yeti: But you bite them, so kindly keep your paws off me.

Boo: [squints at Yeti]

Yeti: [squints back at Boo]

Peekaboo and Yeti: [staring each other down a moment, then remembering the mlog]: Oh! Anyway, HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Yeti-the-Cat-Santa-Yeti-Peace-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Quirky Qitties ™

By | |
Comments Off on Quirky Qitties ™

Yeti-the-Cat-Peekaboo-Temptation-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Yeti: Out of solitary, eh?

Boo: [sulking] Yeah.

Yeti: Got on the counter again?

Boo: Yes.

Yeti: Why don’t you ever learn?

Boo: There are tasty things up there.

Yeti: Were there this time?

Boo: No.

Yeti: Was there last time?

Boo: No. They clean faster now.

Yeti: Guess why. Can you remember the last time you scored?

Boo: Not really.

Yeti: Why do you still do it?

Boo: I don’t know.

Yeti: It’s because you’re a fool.

Boo: I am not. I’m resourceful.

Yeti: You’re misguided.

Boo: I’m crafty.

Yeti: You’re disobedient.

Boo: I’m creative.

Yeti: And then, because you know you shouldn’t do it, you get paranoid.

Boo: I’m cautious.

Yeti: You’re jumpy.

Boo: I’m alert.

Yeti: You’re neurotic.

Boo: It’s not that I’m afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Yeti: So now you’re quoting Woody Allen.

Boo: Well at least I’m not a snob.

Yeti: I’m not a snob!

Boo: You’re a snob.

Yeti: I’m demure.

Boo: You’re standoffish.

Yeti: I’m aloof.

Boo: You’re a hermit.

Yeti: I’m comfortable with myself.

Boo: You close people out.

Yeti: I like my privacy.

Boo: You’re Garbo.

Yeti: [leaving] I vahnt to be alohne.

 

Yeti-the-Cat-Channeling-Greta-Garbo-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Yeti and Boo’d Like Some Food ™

By | | ,
Comments Off on Yeti and Boo’d Like Some Food ™

Boo: What is this ‘limit the cat food’ kick they’re on? This schedule is tedious.

Yeti: It’s because you Hoover your food, and immediately turn it into a projectile.

Boo: What’s wrong with that?

Yeti: For one, it’s wasteful; second, you Hoover from my bowl too; third –

Boo: You snooze; you lose.

Yeti: You don’t have to store it all in your fat for winter or something. They’re not going to starve you.

Boo: But..but…but we never know how long they’ll be gone!

Yeti: Have they ever been gone that long? Have they ever starved you?

Boo: I don’t know. I’m starving now.

Yeti: You’re delusional. You just ate.

Boo: But I’m starving!

Yeti: You are not.

Boo: Prove it!

Yeti: You’re still complaining…proof enough.

Yeti-the-Cat-Peekaboo-On-Throne-Feed-Me-1st-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Who’s the Alpha Cat?

By | |
Comments Off on Who’s the Alpha Cat?

 

Yeti-the-Cat-Gals-N-Cats-by-Lin-Eilee-S-GeorgeBoo: [Raises a brow as Yeti strolls to meet her in the office] What do you look so smug about?

Yeti: [Matter-of-factly] I’m breaking the Missus in.

Boo: What do you mean?

Yeti: She’s starting to respond to my cues [smiles with eyes half-closed]. You know she already feeds me in bed so I don’t even have to get up…

Boo: [Sticking her tongue out in disgust] boy, do I.

Yeti: Well, the crinkly bag was on the corner of the bed earlier, so instead of settling into “my spot” by the dish when she brought dinner, I curled up on the bag, and gave her a look, and she immediately just “got” it – she even said, “Oh, do we wish to dine on the terrace tonight?” and moved the bowl out of its place to set it in front of me on the bag. I didn’t have to make a squeak. Yes…her training is coming along nicely.

Boo: [Mimicking Yeti’s expressions] And to what do you give credit for this newfound obedience?

Yeti: I kissed up to her earlier letting her brush me while I was on her lap.

Boo: [Shocked] On her lap? You???

Yeti: It wasn’t bad, I must say…very relaxing…kind of lost track of time, really.

Boo: I’ve been telling you…

Yeti: But I won’t let her get too much in the habit. [Studying her claws] Poor thing, she didn’t know what hit her. I have her right where I want her.

Boo: [Rolling her eyes] Um…yeah.

[Meanwhile, in the den]

Mister: What do you look so smug about?

Missus: I think I’m breaking the Yeti in.

Mister: How’s that?

Missus: You know how she loves being brushed…I warmed her up brushing her where she lay snoozing, and then I dragged her over to my lap, and brushed her much more…she didn’t fight much at first, and then she actually fell asleep on my lap!

Mister: [Leaning forward] You have got to be kidding. Her???

Missus: I was shocked. I didn’t dare move for half an hour. Phone rang and I didn’t even move to pick up – till she moved on her own later.

Mister: I wouldn’t either! What a rare treat! Think she’ll do it again?

Missus: Oh, I made sure to do the positive reinforcement thing. I even brought her food over to her on that plastic bag the cats have been playing with. She looked so grateful [smiles while remembering]. Oh…I know how to work her. I am so winning this thing.

Mister: [Grinning] Whatever you say….

Yeti-the-Cat-Yeti-Treelaxing-by-Lin-Eilee-S-George

St. Catrick’s Day ™

By | |
Comments Off on St. Catrick’s Day ™

Note: this post has a new audio version! Just scroll to the bottom of the post and hit play. But for now, on to the normal typed version of today’s post:Yeti-the-Cat-Boo-St-Pat

Boo: Happy St. Catrick’s Day.

Yeti: Happy what?

Boo: St. Catrick’s Day. Our people celebrate an Irish cat who did tricks so well they sainted him.

Yeti: That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.

Boo: I saw it on the Internet, so it must be true.

Yeti: Where on the Internet?

Boo: [mumbling] On our blog, where I just put it….

Yeti: Peekaboo! You can’t just make things up and put them on the Internet! – I mean, I know you can, but you shouldn’t.

Boo: Well I think it’s a nice story anyway.

Yeti: Okay Peekaboo, if it’s a story, then you round it out, and really make it a story.

Boo: [thinking hard] Well…once there was this cat named Patrick, and he did lots of tricks, like playing fetch, and doing pirouettes, and walking on his hind legs, and speaking and sitting on command, and doing “tornado kitty” and back flips–

Yeti: This cat sounds suspiciously familiar….

Boo: And because of his awesomesauciness, they gave him unlimited noms all the time and loved on him lots and lots–

Yeti: And this would be “projection” based in fantasy….

Boo: Don’t ruin my story by psychologizing it.

Yeti: [glibly] Beg pardon. Pray continue.

Boo: Um…and he lived happily ever after. The end.

Yeti: [blinking] Short story.

Boo: That’s a real genre, er, category, you know.

Yeti: So it is. Merely citing literary terminology does not precipitate success.

Boo: Luckily we have our own publishing venue.

Yeti: Lucky for you – not for our readership.

Boo: I’ll take a page from your book and say it only matters if I like it. [grins smugly]

Yeti: “It’s for her own good that the cat purrs.” [Irish proverb]

Yeti-the-Cat-Yeti-St-Pat

To listen to this episode, just hit play!

All content: audio, visual, animated and format are © Linda “Eilee” S. George, All Rights Reserved.

Easter Kitties

By | |
Comments Off on Easter Kitties

Yeti Psalm 118

Yeti: Happy Easter.

Boo: Wait…I don’t get it. We live in the West.

Yeti: [shrugging] I didn’t name it.

Boo: I thought it was Halloween with all the candy, but now it’s all light colors instead of spooky ones.

Yeti: Nobody’s dressing us up…I already like it better than Halloween.

Boo: Hooray for that. So what is Easter?

Yeti: Confusing, for sure…something about bunnies, and church. And eggs, and I can’t figure out what those have to do with anything either. And Missus has been practicing pretty songs a lot more than normal this past week.

Boo: It’s very perplexing, but she sure is happy about it, and nicer even than normal. Even considering taxes are over with.

Yeti: Maybe it has to do with the candy.

Boo: [eyes sparkling] Yes…perhaps we should sample some….

Yeti: You do know that will end the nicer-than-normal spell quite abruptly.

Boo: Only if I get caught.

Yeti: You always get caught.

Boo: That’s what you think.

Yeti: Come on, everyone knows you’re an unconvincing liar, oh stealer of my breakfast. Not that you don’t practice.

Boo: How do you know I’m not telling the truth now?

Yeti: Um, your mouth is open and sound is coming out?

Boo: So, you’re saying I’m lying about lying?

Yeti: Maybe. I don’t know…. okay, yes – I’m saying you’re lying about lying.

Boo: But you don’t know. So I’m better at it than you want to admit.

Yeti: Not something to brag about…you do know that lying is also when you just keep silent about the truth, or make gross exaggerations even.

Boo: [Silent]

Yeti: [Wondering if she has been too harsh, or not harsh enough] What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue? Heh, sorry – couldn’t resist.

Boo: [Suddenly pensive] Ha, no. Something else. I’m not sure what it is.

Yeti: [Studying her companion thoughtfully] Could it be…a conscience?

Boo: I’m not unconscious, just…confused.

Yeti: No: conscience, as in, that little voice in your head that tells you lying is wrong.

Boo: How do you know about the voices?

Yeti: Uh, voices, as in plural??

Boo: No! I mean, voice…that voice. It makes me feel guilty.

Yeti: [Wary] You do know dishonesty is bad, right? That it hurts relationships, not to mention that people might not believe you when you need them?

Boo: [Sheepishly] Yeah…that’s already happened.

Yeti: I suspected that. [Puts paw on Boo’s shoulder] You can break the habit. It won’t be easy at first. I can try to help keep you in line.

Boo: How? By tattling?

Yeti: Well, yes, if needed. I haven’t so far – and look where that’s gotten us. [waits for Boo’s quiet acknowledgement] Do you want to do better, so our people trust you – always and forever, and not just so you can pull another fast one? Are you truly repentant – I mean, sorry?

Boo: [Mumbling] I am. I don’t mean to be bad. It just seems easier at the time.

Yeti: But it doesn’t end up that way, does it? It has to feel bad disappointing our People.

Boo: [Tearfully] Oh, it’s just awful! How do I stop?

Yeti: I’m afraid you’ll have to find your own best method for you. It won’t likely happen overnight, so please be patient with yourself. Remember you’ll never be perfect, and remember that Missus and Mister love you anyway no matter what. And [under breath] so do I.

Boo: [Ears perking] What did you say?

Yeti: [Straightening up and looking Peekaboo squarely in the eye] I love you. I care about your happiness, and that of Missus and Mister, and everyone. There. I said it.

Boo: And there it is, ladies and gents: an Easter miracle.

Yeti: Stop exaggerating! [Sighs, smiles and winks]

Boo: I don’t understand it yet, but I’ve decided I like Easter.

Yeti: Me too.

Both: Happy Easter!

Yeti-the-Cat Boo Pixie

Yeti-the-Cat-Absolved

Cat-erwaul ™

By | |
Comments Off on Cat-erwaul ™

Yeti the Cat and Bed Monopolizer

Any typical night: Mister and Missus have settled in for the night. Yeti takes her place between their pillows, gets tickled under the chin, then rests her head on her little pillow next to her favorite toy/adopted wee one Mousi.

Mister: [Pulling on the covers] Goodnight.

Missus: [Tugging back] Goodnight.

Yeti: Purr…zzzzzz….

[Some final stirring, settling, and then silence textured only by easy breathing…until…]

Peekaboo: Mmrowwwl!

Missus: Ugh, not again…

Boo: MEEOWWWW!!! MRRROWWWLL!! [plop]

Mister: She brought us a “kill”…

Boo: MURRROUGWWWWWWGRRW!!!

Missus: And wants us to know about it. …Oy, ENOUGH already!

Boo: Mow…[satisfied now that she’s been acknowledged, hopping up on the bed]

Mister: [shoving her off of him as she begins to boisterously bathe on him] Off me!

Missus: Hey, don’t get on me either…quit shaking the bed!

Yeti: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Boo: [lick-a-lick-a-lick-a…]

Mister: Mmumf…

Missus: Boo, pssshht!

Boo: [Relocating to lie half on top of Yeti] Purrrrrrr

Yeti: Mew…meh…hiss…grrrr-grrrowwll!

Boo: MURROWW! Hiss! [Feline activity escalates instantly]

Mister: [Pulling pillow over his head] Omigosh it’s midnight already!

Missus: [Shoving Boo to the foot of the bed] Cool it!

[Everyone squirms for a bit, and eventually settles down again. Finally, all is quiet.]

Yeti: Zzzzzzzzz….

Missus: Zzzzzzzzz….

Mister: Zzzzzzzzz….

Boo: Meow.

[*boot* – plop!]

Missus: Oh – ‘oops‘.

Yeti-The-Cat-Is-Not-Ur-Bed-Boo

Catmosphere

By | |
Comments Off on Catmosphere

YetiSaysCatChoo!

Yeti: Ah-choo! Ah-ch-huh-huh-Huh-AH-choooo!

Boo: Wow. Um, bless you. Have you finally become allergic to yourself?

Yeti: [Shaking head] Whew. I-I don’t think so. Although…the catmosphere is a bit thick in here.

Boo: You’re not kidding. You ejected more fur into it with each sneizure.

Yeti: Perhaps I ought to let them vacuum me again.

Boo: Gosh you’re weird. But you are the worst offender. Count me out!

Yeti: Wait a minute. [She catches Boo before she exits, and sniffs her.]

Boo: Hey! What gives?

Yeti: Ah-choo! Ah-yah-AH-choooo! Yeesh! I think I’m allergic to you!

Boo: [Squirms uneasily] Not really….

Yeti: What is that awful musty smell on you?

Boo: I crawled behind the dryer. There, even the dust bunnies have dust bunnies.

Yeti: Mystery solved, then. Go bathe, and pitch your hairballs. Yuk.

Boo: All right. [Starts bathing] Ah-choo! Yih-yeh-AH-choooo! Omigosh I’m allergic to myself.

Yeti: [Smiles] Poetic justice. It’s not always my fault.

YetiVacuum