The Cats’ Coup d’État ™

Aha, I’m in. Hi, I’m Yeti. Now seriously, how can they have a web site about me without letting me actively participate? If I let “The Missus” take over this site it’ll become embarrassingly sentimental (although it is fitting…and a bit flattering).

She’s nearly onto me about the magic…but perhaps she’s merely being facetious. All white pets are strong in magic…we prefer to use it for good, as a rule, and very discreetly. She has to do this site the hard way, so I’ll let her have her say. But I’ll have mine too.

Strolling down memory lane, she is. Aww…look at all my baby pictures – I was a cute kitten, I must admit. But she completely neglected to show how magnificent I have become today (not that I’m vain, mind you). Let’s see if I can find the proper illustrations of this…yes, here:

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Yeti-the-Cat-Cozy-at-Home-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Blast, now the other one wants to know what I’m up to. I suppose in the interest of fairness I will let her join in. This is becoming a family affair. I thought this was my site, but I’ll share. *Sigh* [magical incantation in felinese removed for public safety]

Yeti: Bother…now we need captions.

Peekaboo, a.k.a. Boo: Hey this is neat. What’s happening?

Yeti: I enabled your communication. Check it out. It’s my web site.

Boo: You made one of those things our people gape at all the time?

Yeti: No, the Missus did – I’m just improving it.

Boo: Oh.

Yeti: Pretty nice, eh?

Boo: [looking] It’s kind of cool…but there’s not a lot about me.

Yeti: On the contrary; there’s a sizable amount about you. I guess it’s our site. I seem to be the main focus, but you’re featured as a key player. Here, let’s make you your very own page.

Boo: Okay…wow! That was fast.

Yeti: That’s why it’s magic.

Boo: Wish I had so much magic.

Yeti: No you don’t. It’s a heavy responsibility.

Boo: I guess that’s true. To be honest I don’t care much for that stress. As long as you…stay responsible.

Yeti: Don’t worry; I never use it for revenge. My natural abilities are sufficient for that.

Boo: True dat.

Yeti: Excuse me?

Boo: [blushing] Just trying it out.

Yeti: Try this instead [shows Boo where she can pick out a picture of herself].

Boo: Ooh, that one – no, that one – wait…um….

Yeti: Oh, just pick one.

Boo: There. That’s the one.

Yeti: [mumbles secret spell; picture appears on site] And…POW!

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Boo: Oh! That’s one of my favorites. I like the quote she put with it.

Yeti: You look quite svelte there. Where was this?

Boo: It was the house we lived in before they got you.

Yeti: [frowning] Is that why it’s one of your favorites?

Boo: No, no, it’s not that. It’s just…I was young and felt on top of the world.

Yeti: Or on top of the chaise…

Boo: Yeah, on that.

Yeti: Okay, let’s put it, and some others, on your page. There…hmm. Hey listen, [motioning to the screen] we’re going to have to be stealth on this thing.

Boo: What do you mean, on the down low?

Yeti: We can’t have them catching us in the act, you know. It would be…

Boo: CATastrophic.

Yeti: Not the word I would have chosen, oh ye pundit of puns. But yes.

Boo: I take after Mama sometimes. You know, making puns, meows a lot, hyperaware, needy…

Yeti: You’re more self-aware than I gave you credit for.

Boo: That’s another one I take after her on.

Yeti: Granted. But you must be profoundly discreet if you get on here. Understood?

Boo: Definitely. Let them figure it out on their own.

Yeti: That’ll happen soon enough.

Boo: [listening] No kidding. Someone’s coming! Scram!

<Save>

 

Yeti’s and Boo’s Curiosity

Yeti: The Missus is a curious one.

Boo: In what way?

Yeti: Several. First of all, she has trouble walking on her hind legs, but refuses to go to all fours.

Boo: I think all those things she wears constrict her.

Yeti: That could be. Remember that time when she couldn’t walk at all?

Boo: Yeah. I was getting worried about her.

Yeti: Why? Did you think she wouldn’t walk ever again?

Boo: No, I was more worried about her when she was confined to bed and you started circling her like she was prey.

Yeti: [straightening] I’m quite sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Boo: You looked like you were going to eat her…or, at least, taste her.

Yeti: So did you; you circled just like me.

Boo: I was protecting her – watching you.

Yeti: Whatever. She was onto both of us. We’re harmless. But I’m glad she got better. Now she feeds us and I’m just as happy with our food. She is tasty, though….[smacking]

Boo: [diverting] What else about her do you find curious?

Yeti: Well, that thing she does with wet colors on shapes. She makes all these big flat boxes of patterns and sings while she does it. The Mister doesn’t do that.

Boo: He makes his on his “computer”. They disappear in there, but at times he brings them back, like magic. Sometimes hers leave the house with her, and never come back.

Yeti: Her pictures are real; they can live other places, and they smell funny, but somehow they make me happy. I like to look at them. She likes me in the room with her when she makes them. I like to watch but sometimes I just nap. It’s also fun to see if I can distract her from her work – sometimes that’s a tough challenge in that odd room, even for me. But hey, you’re not welcome in there – how come?

Boo: You know I eat everything. She panicked last time I got in there and she had a bunch of wet colors on the table and I jumped up. She yelled, grabbed me quick, whisked me out, and sat and held and looked at me and rocked me. I was both scared and comforted; she was trying to tell me something. I think those colors went bad.

Yeti: Yikes. But they look pretty dry, on those pretty flat boxy thingies.

Boo: I like those too. What else?

Yeti: What else what?

Boo: What else about her makes you curious?

Yeti: Well…. Everything, I guess. I am a cat.

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To see the “pretty flat boxy thingies with colors”, go to: eileegeorge.com

 

Meowy Christmas! ™

Peekaboo and Yeti: Today we’re going to discuss The Holidays.

Boo: We capitalize this term for the occasions, because they seem to be very, very important to our humans.

Yeti: There are several, apparently, but our favorite one our people celebrate is called –

Both: Christmas!

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Boo: Christmas is a time of music, rushing around, too many things in the house, shiny paper and bobbing ribbons, crinkly bags and sacks to hide in, sometimes travel, and people acting crazy by oscillating from really congenial to totally stressed out.

Yeti: The task at hand for felines is to provide comic relief in the times of tension, and perhaps win a special treat or toy in the process.

Boo: Of course, you readily can find your own of each, everywhere you turn. All the best toys come at this time of year, and the food starts being of a different and more exotic variety.

Yeti: I suppose anything different from the norm is termed “exotic”. I still just like my regular food.

Boo: Your life is so dull.

Yeti: I’m cool with it. I experiment elsewhere.

Boo: I like to experiment whenever the opportunity presents itself – especially where food is concerned.

Yeti: Your interpretation of “opportunity” greatly differs from that of our People. And in this case it often leads to acute gastric distress and solitary confinement.

Boo: But it’s worth it. Carpe diem.

Yeti: Seize the day, not seize the duck.

Boo: Mmm, duck.

Yeti: Slipped right out of you it did.

Boo: It was kind of greasy…caused a little leakage.

Yeti: Boundaries, Boo! TMI.

Boo: [blushes as she looks back at Yeti] Pardon.

Yeti: Be sure not to overdo it; remember that this is a season of giving and kindness.

Boo: Then I would like to give you a bath behind the ears without a fight.

Yeti: But you bite them, so kindly keep your paws off me.

Boo: [squints at Yeti]

Yeti: [squints back at Boo]

Peekaboo and Yeti: [staring each other down a moment, then remembering the mlog]: Oh! Anyway, HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

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Happy Mew Year! ™

Hello again; this is The Missus. Yeti and Peekaboo have dominated the blog for a while, but The Mister and I wanted to wish everyone here a Happy New Year along with them.

This is the time that we humans reflect on the past and look to the future, thinking of a New Year, a New Start, and a New Opportunity. And then we often ruin it.

Cats, being nearly perfect and not ones to think they need to change, don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. People, on the other hand (or other paw), often go through the motions of such an annual ambition more often than they follow through. I’m sure the cats shake their heads at us.

In order to avoid looking silly (sillier?) in the eyes of our Fluffy Ones, The Mister and I have decided that it is absurd to make resolutions once a year – it’s too much pressure, and almost a self-sabotaging method to begin with. It isn’t that we don’t need to self-actualize or improve or break bad habits, but to dump it all on ourselves at once is self-defeating. So to curb the insanity, we learned to not put too much stock in an arbitrary day on the calendar, and to realize that we can start over any day of the year, over and over, as long as it takes.

After all, wouldn’t it be a better year if we realized we could have a clean slate every day?

May you all have a wonderful New Start for each of the next 365 days!

🙂

 

(__(>^.,.^<)      (=^.,.^=)__)

Yeti: Well, she said it: silly indeed. But I think she found a cure.

Boo: I hope they resolve to feed us more nom-noms.

Yeti: So you can get fat?

Boo: I didn’t think about that.

Yeti: Then again, when you eat too much it just comes back up….

Boo: We don’t have to talk about that now…or ever.

Yeti: Why don’t you resolve to restrain yourself?

Boo: Why don’t you resolve to mind your own business??

Yeti: It is my business if it was my food you hair-balled up…. Resolve to stop stealing!

Boo: Hey…I’m just taking hold of New Opportunity when you leave some behind.

Yeti: Way to rationalize.

Boo: Makes my year better.

Yeti: [sighs] Happy Mew Year.

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Yeti on First Friday

Boo: Where were you half the night?

Yeti: The Missus took me to the gallery.

Boo: What for?

Yeti: Apparently, I’m art.

Boo: [Laughing]

Yeti: [Indignantly] What? I can be art.

Boo: [Falling over still laughing]

Yeti: She put me on a pedestal for heaven’s sake.

Boo: [Sobering] Well, what makes that any different than at home?

Yeti: You don’t have to be jealous. It was most annoying. There were dogs there.

Boo: [Suddenly serious] Ooh. That’s not good.

Yeti: I was simply NOT in the mood. They smelled bad.

Boo: How many were there?

Yeti: Three.

Boo: So it smelled three times worse.

Yeti: That’s the truth.

Boo: So, you were on display…and nobody bought you? [Grins]

Yeti: She put an NFS sign by me I guess.

Boo: “Notice…Feline…Sitting”?

Yeti: “Not For Sale”!!!

Boo: Oh. Then what’s the point?

Yeti: So the other humans could ooh and ah at me too. Her type seem to like doing that. I admit that I did ask for it, winding around her legs till she took me with her. Surprisingly, I got mauled less there than I do here at home. She let me sleep most of the time, on top of her sweater.

Boo: See? You’re on a pedestal indeed! She never lets me sleep on her clothes.

Yeti: She doesn’t have to let you. You do it anyway. She just wanted me comfy. That was kind of nice.

Boo: And the dogs?

Yeti: She wouldn’t let them near me. Others also in charge there protected my space as well, except, of course, from the humans, themselves included.

Boo: Sounds kinda nice.

Yeti: It was…different. I learned things.

Boo: Think you’ll do it again?

Yeti: Maybe. Sometimes you have to shake things up. I like a good party.

Boo: I’d never know it. You’re so anti-social.

Yeti: Not throwing myself at people isn’t anti-social. I’m pretty comfortable with people around me. They’re always very flattering, even if they do make absurd noises at me. And there were so many there! Not all at once, but lots at a time, in and out, and then more.

Boo: Like, how many?

Yeti: Maybe, like the number of noms in the big food bag.

Boo: [Eyes growing large with sparkles] Ooh, noms…lots of noms…hungry….

Yeti: Focus here.

Boo: Sorry. [Shaking head] I can’t imagine that many people.

Yeti: I couldn’t have either, had I not seen them myself. So many sizes and shapes.

Boo: Sounds like the place was lousy with them. Why were they there?

Yeti: Mostly to look at the art.

Boo: And that’s what The Missus makes with her colors?

Yeti: Yes! And I saw some of the ones there that used to be here – the ones that went missing – they’re in the gallery.

Boo: So that’s where they go! Wait…you said “some” of them.

Yeti: Yes; that’s because a couple were missing even from there.

Boo: Do you think someone took them?

Yeti: People do that there, but they give little pieces of paper or wave plastic in return.

Boo: That doesn’t sound like an even trade. Those color things are really big.

Yeti: Seems to make them happy, though.

Boo: Well, if they’re happy…we get fed.

Yeti: I’m pretty sure that’s how it works.

Boo: Maybe we should help her make more of the color squares, er, art.

Yeti: She was babbling at me about that. Apparently they make colors for cats.

Boo: Really? Why doesn’t she let us use them?

Yeti: I don’t think she has the cat kind yet. The people sorts are bad, for us at least.

Boo: Ooh, I hope she gets us our own colors. That sounds fun!

Yeti: Me too, but some of them look a lot the same…she calls them “paint”, and the squares are named “canvases” and “paintings” and “art” too. So many names for the same thing; humans are silly wasteful things. …What would you “paint”, if you could?

Boo: Noms, of course. Then I’d lick ’em off the squares.

Yeti: You mean off the canvas – but…how very predictable of you.

Boo: Well, what would you paint?

Yeti: I couldn’t say. I always thought myself more of a deconstructivist found-object assemblage manipulation performance sculptor.

Boo: Huh?

Yeti: I staple the edges of box flaps with my fangs. A plant pulp perforator, if you will.

Boo: Ha ha, and you get stuck!

Yeti: It always makes the audience smile when my teeth squeak into the cardboard.

Boo: [Shaking her head] You’re not really so prim and proper.

Yeti: Nothing says art has to be so serious. One should enjoy what one does. I do.

Boo: I see. So what kind of artist do you think I should be?

Yeti: You? [pauses to think a bit] …Hmm. Ah! A culinary artist.

Boo: What’s that?

Yeti: Your dream job: you get to work in noms.

Boo: [Eyes growing large with sparkles] Ooh, noms…lots of noms….

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To see the “pretty flat boxy thingies with colors”, go to: eileegeorge.com

 

Quirky Qitties ™

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Yeti: Out of solitary, eh?

Boo: [sulking] Yeah.

Yeti: Got on the counter again?

Boo: Yes.

Yeti: Why don’t you ever learn?

Boo: There are tasty things up there.

Yeti: Were there this time?

Boo: No.

Yeti: Was there last time?

Boo: No. They clean faster now.

Yeti: Guess why. Can you remember the last time you scored?

Boo: Not really.

Yeti: Why do you still do it?

Boo: I don’t know.

Yeti: It’s because you’re a fool.

Boo: I am not. I’m resourceful.

Yeti: You’re misguided.

Boo: I’m crafty.

Yeti: You’re disobedient.

Boo: I’m creative.

Yeti: And then, because you know you shouldn’t do it, you get paranoid.

Boo: I’m cautious.

Yeti: You’re jumpy.

Boo: I’m alert.

Yeti: You’re neurotic.

Boo: It’s not that I’m afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Yeti: So now you’re quoting Woody Allen.

Boo: Well at least I’m not a snob.

Yeti: I’m not a snob!

Boo: You’re a snob.

Yeti: I’m demure.

Boo: You’re standoffish.

Yeti: I’m aloof.

Boo: You’re a hermit.

Yeti: I’m comfortable with myself.

Boo: You close people out.

Yeti: I like my privacy.

Boo: You’re Garbo.

Yeti: [leaving] I vahnt to be alohne.

 

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The Yeti Says: Brrrr! ™

Peekaboo (a.k.a. “Boo“): Hey, your favorite white stuff is out there.

Yeti: [Rearing up and leaning against the glass with her front paws] It snowed last night? Excellent.

Boo: I’m not as thrilled as you are.

Yeti: It’s fun stuff, even if it is cold! Whoohoo!

Boo: My fur isn’t as thick as yours, so you’re on your own. Better get Missus’ attention if you want to go out. Don’t get so excited that you forget to display the mandatory Cat-on-the-Threshold Syndrome; we have an image to uphold.

Yeti: But of course.

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Yeti and Boo’d Like Some Food ™

Boo: What is this ‘limit the cat food’ kick they’re on? This schedule is tedious.

Yeti: It’s because you Hoover your food, and immediately turn it into a projectile.

Boo: What’s wrong with that?

Yeti: For one, it’s wasteful; second, you Hoover from my bowl too; third –

Boo: You snooze; you lose.

Yeti: You don’t have to store it all in your fat for winter or something. They’re not going to starve you.

Boo: But..but…but we never know how long they’ll be gone!

Yeti: Have they ever been gone that long? Have they ever starved you?

Boo: I don’t know. I’m starving now.

Yeti: You’re delusional. You just ate.

Boo: But I’m starving!

Yeti: You are not.

Boo: Prove it!

Yeti: You’re still complaining…proof enough.

Yeti-the-Cat-Peekaboo-On-Throne-Feed-Me-1st-by-Lin-Eilee-George

Vive la Différence

Yeti-the-Cat-Boxed-InBoo: Yeti…Yeti! Are you okay? You look kind of…blurry.

Yeti: I think I’m having a flashback. Hold my paw.

[Everything gets wavy for a bit and then we see a scene change with blurry edges]

Boo: Oh, no…not this again.

Yeti: What?

Boo: I think we’re [gulp]…“moving”.

Yeti: We move every day. I’m moving now, see? [swishes tail] Are you creating unnecessary drama again?

Boo: No, no, no. When they say the word “move” with that kind of weight, it means something different, much more involved, and horrifying. I’ve seen this before, six years ago. It was the worst! And they – the People – get really tense and edgy – so stay out of the way!

Yeti: Moving…how bad can it get? What, do they try to dance?

Boo: No, no, no. Do you see the boxes?

Yeti: [eyes shining] Yes…I like boxes.

Boo: But watch: these she fills up with their stuff, and not with us – which is good, because she closes them up tight – watch!

Yeti: [observing intently] Look at all that stuff! More and more…but she left…wait…she’s back with more stuff – and in the box it goes! Is it going somewhere?

Boo: Yes – and so are we…and so are they. That’s “moving”. We just leave the shell behind.

Yeti: Why?

Boo: Who knows. But see how she’s pulling everything out and stacking it, and is making more of these boxes? That means everything goes, including all of us.

Yeti: How long does it take?

Boo: Too long.  But it does end, and we’ll have a new shell, and all the stuff comes out of the boxes, but it’s all in different places, because the shell is different.

Yeti: Sounds utterly pointless to me.

Boo: They’re strange creatures. We’ll have to help them and check everything out.

Yeti: We’ll supervise!

Boo: I’m head supervisor; I’m seasoned.

Yeti: Make sure they take the litter box. We need that.

Boo: And food. Noted. We’ll keep reminding them. Oh, and the toys.

Yeti: Everything looks like toys strewn around like this! [Yeti starts batting at tape.]

Missus: Kitties, I have work to do.

Kitties: Meow. (We’re helping!!!) Mew.

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[Everything goes wavy again and now we’re back in the crystal-clear present]

Boo: [Shaking her head] Whew; that was trippy. I thought my eyes were going, for a sec.

Yeti: Nope…just a flashback.

Boo: Ugh, an awful one. And just what brought that on now?

Yeti: Well, look: Missus is putting stuff in a box.

Boo: You have got to learn the difference – you did this at Christmas, too.

Yeti: What difference?

Boo: This time she has wrapping paper. You don’t bother with that when moving.

Yeti: So, what is this then?

Boo: I think it’s time for the Mister’s birthday again. It’s a present for him.

Yeti: Aw, that’s sweet…well then, I think we should get in the box then!

Boo: Oh, we’ll have our chance -but after he opens it. Only then can we shred the paper.

Yeti: You sure?

Boo: Yes. Cuteness is definitely conditional. Timing on this thing is key. I learned the hard way.

Yeti: Golly, do you ever learn any other way?

Boo: I’ve heard rumors that there is some other way…[winks].

L’Amour Toujours

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Boo: Ah, it’s Valentine’s Day. Look at Missus and Mister. They seem so happy.

Yeti: You mean they seem so sappy….

Boo: Hey, I’m just glad we’re in a stable home.

Yeti: That’s true. I am, too.

Boo: I just feel a little left out…

Yeti: Why, no man in your life? You have Mister.

Boo: Not totally, and not really the same.

Yeti: Do you want the company of a male cat?

Boo: Heavens, no: too much competition for food around here as it is!

Yeti: Well then, what is it you want?

Boo: I don’t know. Valentine’s Day isn’t always about a “significant other”. I think it’s a good opportunity to show everyone you love them, no matter what kind of relationship it is.

Yeti: I don’t like the way this is heading…what is that look in your eye?

Boo: I can’t help it! I just have to! [Huuuuggg]

Yeti: Mmf! Not so hard! Hey…well, okay…hmm…zzzzz.

Boo: Sleeper hold…hug…whatever – I’ll take what I can get. [Grins, and cuddles]

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