Pretty Pretty Yeti ™

Yeti the Cat is Fairest of AllYeti: (Looking in mirror) Mirror, mirror, on the wall – who’s the fairest of them all?

Boo: (Rolling eyes) As if our people don’t tell you enough…

Yeti: (Realizing she’s not alone) It – it was a rhetorical question.

Boo: Come on, you don’t expect me to believe you didn’t want an answer.

Yeti: Mirrors don’t really talk.

Boo: Then what was the point of asking it? You didn’t know I was here.

Yeti: Of course I did.

Boo: Now who’s a fibber, Ms. Hypocrite?

Yeti: Well, you’re always around….

Boo: You’re wandering from the point.

Yeti: (Feigning ignorance) What point?

Boo: That you’re a vain, conceited little thing, and spoiled rotten at that.

Yeti: (Pouting) That was unnecessarily harsh. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Boo: (Shaking head) I don’t hate you at all. I just think that while I’m expected to work on my honesty, you should be working on your vanity. Granted, you have to fight constant input telling you how gorgeous you are all the time. (Sticks out tongue) It’s almost like you’re brainwashed. I’m not saying you aren’t pretty; you just obsess about it a lot.

Yeti: Well…thanks, I guess. You get lots of compliments, too. How do you keep yourself grounded?

Boo: I think the fact that I get yelled at for stealing and such around here keeps my ego in check. You are pretty well behaved.

Yeti: Thank you.

Boo: You’re welcome.

Yeti: So…this is a lot to consider. I need to balance fantasy and reality.

Boo: Not a lot of fun, I understand.

Yeti: I know I’m going to slip up…like you. (Sighs)

Boo: We’ll keep each other in check.

Yeti: Partners?

Boo: Partners. (Peekaboo turns her attention to their surroundings.) Man, Missus sure has lots of pretty sparkly things up here (bats at an old costume-jewelry choker with aurora borealis rhinestones, and starts to drag it off the dresser as her personal toy).

Yeti: Here, you’re not using that right. Help me put it on – it sets off my lovely blue eyes and precious pink nose (poses coquettishly).

Boo: (She abruptly glares at Yeti, considers herself, shakes her head and adopts a deadpan tone as Yeti mirrors her expression and thoughts) We really are hopeless, aren’t we?

Yeti: It would seem so…(tilts her head admiring her reflection, oblivious to Boo dragging off the choker)…it’s part of our unique charm….

Yeti the Cat Admires Herself in Vintage Compacts

Adventures at Grandma’s

Yeti-the-Cat-Yeti-n-Boo-TravelBoo: I’m sure glad Mister and Missus came back for us. I was worried.

Yeti: They always do.

Boo: They were gone a long time this time.

Yeti: Not really…it was about the same. And it’s not bad, staying with MamaMister. Her place is quiet and relaxing, and the bird watching is good. It’s like we get a vacation too.

Boo: It was fun poking around finding new hiding places. But I missed Missus and Mister.

Yeti: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Although I’m not sure that’s possible with you, you codependent cat. I would have preferred to go with them, as I love traveling, but Missus assured me we wouldn’t have enjoyed this trip. Every time they talk about it, I hear the word “rain”.

Boo: Blecch. Then why did they go?

Yeti: She said her brother was getting his very own Missus.

Boo: Aww, how nice. Another Mister and Missus. I remember him; he liked how I played and jumped. I miss him, and MamaMissus too, although I don’t miss the long trip between us. Now I’m gonna miss MamaMister. She lets me nap on her like our People let me on them.

Yeti: We get to see her more than MamaMissus who’s so much further away. Her place was even more quiet and restful, and so many more birds!

Boo: I did like that. It’s like a…what do you call it?

Yeti: A sanctuary?

Boo: Yes, that.

Yeti: For us as well as the birds, although not if we were allowed out with them [licks chops]

Boo: I almost got out at the birds at MamaMister’s, but she’s quick and clever.

Yeti: You shouldn’t underestimate her. She’s wise to you.

Boo: Back at you. You couldn’t get into the basement with me either, when she was going in there.

Yeti: I got a glimpse…there’s tons of hiding places in there…which is probably why she didn’t want us in there…but it would be like an amusement park if she would!

Boo: Yeah, it’s like all our people want to ruin our fun.

Yeti: Or maybe, since we don’t know what’s in there, protect us from harm?

Boo: Giving them credit for responsibility takes the air out of our righteous indignation. Stop it.

Yeti: I don’t know how you can be considered a middle-aged cat with such an immature cattitude.

Boo: [Smugly] Like the grand MamaPeoples, age is just a number, and we’re all young at heart.

 

[Congratulations L&S! And thanks, Moms!]

Barbecue Boo

Note: New! You can now listen to this post in a special Yeti-and-Boo Episode – just scroll to the bottom of this page! But now, on to today’s post:

Yeti: [Spotting Peekaboo entering the room and then doing a double take] Oh dear! What happened to you?

Boo: What do you mean?

Yeti: You look like your calico colors are…seeping…or sliding…or leaking…or something.

Boo: What on earth are you talking about?

Yeti: [Beckoning Boo to follow] Come to the mirror – you’ll see.

Boo: [Catching her reflection, and her breath] Oh – OH! My beautiful white bib!

Yeti: You mean your greasy orange bib.

Boo: Oh, man, I thought I bathed it all off!

Yeti: Bathed all what off?

Boo: You know Missus dozed off on the couch last night and then zombied upstairs? She left the bag of barbecue chips she’d finished behind.

Yeti: And you took it upon yourself to steal from it. [Sigh]

Boo: I don’t know if it’s technically stealing…they would have thrown away the dust after all.

Yeti: [Sarcastically] And because that bag is obviously labeled “cat food” [rolls eyes]….

Boo: Well, with all those words everywhere on it, it could be…if you’re not concerned about the letters all being in order and stuff….

Yeti: [Groans]

Boo: [Studying her neck and chest] Rats, it must have stained my fur when I stuck my whole head in there to lick it clean.

Yeti: Looks like you could use your bib for a tasty snack later. [Shakes head] You are so busted. I don’t even have to tattle. Even if you clean up, the bag’s still too clean I’m sure.

Boo: [Bathing furiously] Hard to reach…[lick] help [lick] me [lick] get [lick] it [lick] off!!!

Yeti: No way any day – you know I hate people food. I don’t want it coming up later. Sorry, you’re on your own.

Boo: [Lingering while enjoying the barbecue-flavored residue] Nummy, I can see why people love this stuff. It’s like…catnip. [Smack! Smack!]

Yeti: [Following a zig-zagging lick-y Boo into entryway] Without the hallucinogenic side effects…unless you actually think you can get away with this. Oh, and don’t even think about trying to get into those [indicates the box of bottles of barbecue sauce and seasoning-rub their People just brought back from a trip through Kansas City]. Touch those and you’d best pack for the shelter.

Boo: I’ve smelled them putting this stuff on meat on the grill before; I could never have imagined meat being better, but it’s like magic! [Sniffing the bottles] I can’t get a scent out of these like the bags. Too bad they’re not on the counter so I can knock them off.

Yeti: You are playing with fire, oh Bib-of-Flame. Learn to look but not touch. Or sniff but not taste.

Boo: Yeah, right, so easy. Or breathe but not, um…breathe.

Yeti: Someone barbecued your brain.

Boo: [Sucking on her bib happily] But what a way to go….

Yeti-the-Cat-Boo-BBQPawprints1

To listen to this post/episode, just hit play!

All content: audio, visual, animated and format are © Linda “Eilee” S. George, All Rights Reserved.

Mewsical Mewsings ™

Yeti-the-Cat-Uke-1Peekaboo: What do you call that little curvy box with strings on it that Missus has started playing?

Yeti: Annoying.

Boo: I don’t think that’s it.

Yeti: [Glibly] It is when I’m trying to sleep.

Boo: [Rolls her eyes] Fine, don’t tell me.

Yeti: [Sighs] It’s like a little guitar; she calls it something like “yuke” or “ook” – which is pretty much what I think of it, until she gets better.

Boo: [Sticking out her tongue] Like this? Yuk…or is it ookh?

Yeti: Either one works for me. Do I have to leave your presence too in order to get a nap?!

Boo: [Frowning] I’m not trying to bug you; I’m just trying to understand what she’s doing.

Yeti: She’s making music…well, such as it is. I have to admit she’s gotten better pretty quickly, but I get tired of hearing the same few songs over and over.

Boo: Maybe that’s how they get better – people who make music. The ones on her and Mister’s computers must do the same songs over and over and over, lots and lots.

Yeti: That’s probably true. And a lot of that I actually do like. [Yeti lazily starts bathing her own face]

Boo: Don’t you like anything that Missus plays on the…uh…yoo-uk?

Yeti: The first couple of songs she learned are getting pretty nice…but I would rather hear her singing more like before. I prefer her gospel, jazz and lullabies. Her original stuff is fun too and I think it would sound great on the thing once she learns it. [Washes ears]

Boo: Now she sings and plays at the same time. That’s pretty neat.

Yeti: True…accompaniment does make it easier for me to follow the tune. Hey – she can do whatever she likes – as long as she doesn’t regress back into metal, grunge, goth, and prog rock too much like Mister….

Boo: Into what? Methogoprunjothrogarp?

Yeti: [Freezes mid-lick, blankly staring at Boo] …Never mind.

Yeti-the-Cat-Uke

Cat-erwaul ™

Yeti the Cat and Bed Monopolizer

Any typical night: Mister and Missus have settled in for the night. Yeti takes her place between their pillows, gets tickled under the chin, then rests her head on her little pillow next to her favorite toy/adopted wee one Mousi.

Mister: [Pulling on the covers] Goodnight.

Missus: [Tugging back] Goodnight.

Yeti: Purr…zzzzzz….

[Some final stirring, settling, and then silence textured only by easy breathing…until…]

Peekaboo: Mmrowwwl!

Missus: Ugh, not again…

Boo: MEEOWWWW!!! MRRROWWWLL!! [plop]

Mister: She brought us a “kill”…

Boo: MURRROUGWWWWWWGRRW!!!

Missus: And wants us to know about it. …Oy, ENOUGH already!

Boo: Mow…[satisfied now that she’s been acknowledged, hopping up on the bed]

Mister: [shoving her off of him as she begins to boisterously bathe on him] Off me!

Missus: Hey, don’t get on me either…quit shaking the bed!

Yeti: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Boo: [lick-a-lick-a-lick-a…]

Mister: Mmumf…

Missus: Boo, pssshht!

Boo: [Relocating to lie half on top of Yeti] Purrrrrrr

Yeti: Mew…meh…hiss…grrrr-grrrowwll!

Boo: MURROWW! Hiss! [Feline activity escalates instantly]

Mister: [Pulling pillow over his head] Omigosh it’s midnight already!

Missus: [Shoving Boo to the foot of the bed] Cool it!

[Everyone squirms for a bit, and eventually settles down again. Finally, all is quiet.]

Yeti: Zzzzzzzzz….

Missus: Zzzzzzzzz….

Mister: Zzzzzzzzz….

Boo: Meow.

[*boot* – plop!]

Missus: Oh – ‘oops‘.

Yeti-The-Cat-Is-Not-Ur-Bed-Boo

Pet Peeve

Yeti-the-Cat-Rose-Bud

Yeti: [Smoothing her fur after escaping a cuddling Missus] Ugh, I wish she wouldn’t maul me so much.

Boo: Me too.

Yeti: What? You beg them to cuddle you!

Boo: No, I wish they wouldn’t cuddle you so much.

Yeti: I see. You don’t want competition.

Boo: How can it be a competition if you don’t even want to participate?

Yeti: I’m not trying to take your precious attention. I just want to be left alone.

Boo: But you must be doing something to draw them to you.

Yeti: I’m just me. They can’t resist me.

Boo: Well, stop being so irresistible then.

Yeti: I can’t help it. [Grooms and poses coquettishly]

Boo: Stop that!!!

Yeti-the-Cat-Roses

Fall’s a Ball

Yeti-the-Cat-Fantastic-Fall

Boo: It looks different outside.

Yeti: Seasons are changing again.

Boo: Which one is this again?

Yeti: Autumn – or Fall. Take your pick.

Boo: I pick Autumn. The other one sounds scary.

Yeti: [Giggling] You don’t fall – the leaves do. And they’re fun to watch and chase and pounce on!

Boo: People must really like this season, if they named it twice.

Yeti: I know ours like it because they run out to the mountains to take photos for Missus to paint. They definitely like it. And I like it.

Boo: You like every season.

Yeti: What’s wrong with that?

Boo: You’re just so…happy with everything. [Sticks her tongue out]

Yeti: [Getting flustered] And what’s wrong with that?!

Boo: Well, things aren’t just nicey-nice perfect all the time.

Yeti: Who said they would be?

Boo: Who said they wouldn’t?

Yeti: I don’t know. Somebody. [Blinks] But we do have it good. Have you seen those poor animals on those save-the-animal ads?

Boo: I used to be one of those.

Yeti: You weren’t as bad off as they were…were you?

Boo: No, not nearly.

Yeti: You’re not happy unless you’re unhappy. That’s too bad. There are people like that.

Boo: I’m not always that way; I just get in these moods….

Yeti: That’s true; you’re not. Maybe it’s seasonal affective disorder.

Boo: Wha-huh?

Yeti: Cloudy-day blues.

Boo: Hmm…you might have something there.

Yeti: Look here outside on the patio. There’s sunshine in the leaves.

Boo: I remember that it doesn’t last very long.

Yeti: I know…but if it were always beautiful, would you appreciate it as much?

Boo: Sure.

Yeti: [Squinting in disbelief]

Boo: Okay, maybe not.

Yeti: Look for the beauty in everything and guess what – you’ll find it.

Boo: That sounds profound, in theory

Yeti: It works in practice too. Don’t be so bleak, Boo. You think Winter is ugly and boring. I find it fun and fascinating. It’s cool to see something different for a change. You can bounce around in the snow and look at crystal glass etching on the windows and see ice stalactites hanging from the eaves. The branches get frosted and there’s occasional fog softening everything; snowflakes flutter down so gently, and there’s a nice hush and it’s easier to sleep.

Boo: Oh, you got me at “sleep”.

Yeti: You have to get through Fall before we try hibernation.

Boo: I don’t want to fall!

Yeti: Autumn!!!

PeekaBoo-Fall-Leaves

Cat’s Eyes ™(Part 1)

Blinking feline/marble cat's eyes

Boo: Why don’t our people’s eyes glow in the dark like ours?

Yeti: The poor things are relatively blind. I don’t know if that’s cause or effect.

Boo: And why do your eyes glow a different color than mine?

Yeti: I guess because they start out different colors. Missus says your yellow-green ones glow turquoise, and my baby blues glow…[sigh]…red.

Boo: And even to me you look truly evil then, when they’re red.

Yeti: [Pouting] I can’t help it. As long as it helps me multiply light in darker areas, I’m pleased that it’s at least functional.

Boo: Don’t you think that it’s peculiar that we have limited color perception while we simultaneously have so many colors in our eyes?

Yeti: [Taken aback by Boo’s improved vocabulary] Why, yes. I do. You really sounded smart just then!

Boo: What, you think that I don’t know any big words? [Grins]

Yeti: Well, it’s not reasonable to expect me to – unless you use them.

Boo: [Nodding, then shrugging] It still doesn’t feel natural. I’ll have to get used to it bit by bit.

Yeti: I can see that.

Boo: Even in the dark.

Yeti-and-Peekaboo-Laser-Cats

 

Momster! ™

a500VampireCatsYeti and Boo are taking a break, and, uncharacteristically, Yeti is actually allowing Boo to soothingly bathe her head.

Boo: Wow, you need to relax; you’re really tense. So, what’s on your mind?

Yeti: I don’t like how Mama sounds lately.

Boo: You must be worried; you just called Missus “Mama”! And you’ve hardly left her side for days.

Yeti: She hasn’t spoken for days; she just squeaks and rasps, coughs and wheezes. I want to make sure she’s okay.

Boo: People sure seem to get sick worse than cats.

Yeti: And stay that way a long time.

Boo: I don’t like her wheezing either.

Yeti: It certainly doesn’t sound good. Poor…Mom.

Boo: Her noises sound like those of monsters. Unless I’m looking at her, I think we’ve been invaded by them.

Yeti: Luckily, there’s no such thing as monsters.

Boo: [Matter-of-factly] Yes there are.

Yeti: [Making a face] Have you ever seen one?

Boo: Well, not in person – not at all, really. But they exist.

Yeti: Reallll-ly. What do they look like?

Boo: I – I don’t know. But they sound like Missus.

Yeti: You don’t know how they sound any more than you know what they look like. Here, let’s approach this scientifically. Are there any credible reports of sightings?

Boo: Almost every child in existence reports sightings!

Yeti: A tired, hysterical child’s imagination is hardly reliable. Rational adults – and cats – never see them. Explain that.

Boo: [Smugly] Adults report seeing Bigfoot – and…Yetis too! And I’m looking at one right now!

Yeti: [Rolling eyes] I’m different – one of a kind – and hardly monstrous. Try again.

Boo: Stop using logic on me – they’re real! It’s proven by scientists somewhere… [noting Yeti’s skeptical stare] – it must be, somewhere!

Yeti: [Shaking head] Conjecture. You can’t give me a source or even describe one. Okay, Miss Know-it-All, if they’re real, and documented in the scientific community, what genus and species are they?

Boo: What – how should I know?

Yeti: [Swishing tail] Binomial nomenclature, please.

Boo: You know I don’t speak Latin.

Yeti: Nope – just gibberish.

[A disheveled Missus/Mom staggers into the room, wrapped in blankets, hair askew, face chapped, thermometer in mouth, wielding two tissue boxes, and startles them with a sudden violent hacking fit.]

Yeti and Boo: MONSTER!!!

cYetiYellYeti-and-Boo-Fight-Their-Fear

Cat’s Eyes (Part 2): Yikes, Yeti! ™

Blinking feline/marble cat's eyes

Yeti: Looks like it’s nearly time for Meowloween again. Mister brought home a heap of candy yesterday.

Boo: Hooray! [Licks chops]

Yeti: Come on, you know better than that.

Boo: I can dream. Wonder if it’ll even last until the freaky little humans come to the door; he usually has to get reinforcements. It seems to be the only thing that works to make them go away. I wish I could get food for just hanging around by a door!

Yeti: You’d never leave it. Luckily this only happens once a year. Frankly, I get a little creeped out by all the scary-looking kids beating on the door.

Boo: Well, you can just creep them out right back.

Yeti: As angelic as I look? Surely you jest.

Boo: Ha, you don’t see yourself in the “light” I get to sometimes. And don’t call me Shirley.

Yeti: [Groaning] That joke’s way older than Missus.

Boo: [Glibly] I appreciate the classics.

Yeti: Still – I think your comment on my image shows that you’re delusional.

Boo: Hardly. I have documentation.

Yeti: Oh really?

Boo: Yes. Like this:

Yeti-the-Cat-Demon-Figment-Of-Imagination

Yeti: Oh my. That’s not Photoshopped is it?

Boo: You know I’m too lazy to set you up doing all that work. And there’s plenty more:

Yeti-Demon-Kitty-Secret-Lair-Kill-U

Yeti: [Wincing] Oh…oh! That’s even from when I was still little. How often does this happen?

Boo: Enough to amuse Missus to put such goofy captions to them. Gotta love irony.

Yeti: [Pouts] I don’t think it’s funny.

Boo: I do!

Yeti-Demon-Cat-U-Next

Yeti: Stop showing those things! I look possessed. [Frowns]

Boo: Oh, come on, I do it too. Embrace the magic. It’s almost Meowloween.

Yeti: Well…maybe I can scare off those creepy kiddies, if I can work the light angle right.

Boo: You’re better equipped with the red eye. Positively evil. It’s such great contrast against your normal appearance.

Yeti: [Nodding with a mischievous smirk] They won’t know what hit ’em.

Boo: Atta girl. Now stop looking at me like that.

Yeti: I can’t help it!