Yeti: Darn it, Missus totally blew my plan to scare the kids, with this costume.
Boo: I wish we could trade.
Yeti: [Shifting and struggling in her outfit] I wish we had opposable thumbs.
Boo: It’s no use. Missus is genius with fasteners.
Yeti: But shows no imagination in her character choices for us. I’m so typecast.
Boo: And I’m not? Please.
Yeti: [Turning this way and that admiring herself] I do look pretty fetch, though.
Boo: And it begins.
Both: Happy Meowloween!
Boo: Man, there sure is a pile of shiny, slippery, clutter coming in every day. Mister and Missus just gave up and dumped it all here. I’ve been charging through all these things all day. It makes a great slide – try it!
Yeti: No thanks. I don’t like them.
Boo: Why not?
Yeti: Our people don’t like them.
Boo: Why not? They don’t hurt anything.
Yeti: Missus says they kill trees. I mean, look at all of them. How many trees is this?
Boo: They don’t look like…what do you mean? Are they trees, or do they kill trees? It can’t be both…can it?
Yeti: Paper somehow comes from wood. They kill the trees to make these things.
Boo: Well that’s too bad. Wait. “They” who?
Yeti: The people who send them.
Boo: Send them why?
Yeti: Because they seem to think it’s going to make our People think some different way. They’re doing this thing called “voting”.
Boo: What’s voting?
Yeti: A stressful thing. There’s been lots of talk of it in the evenings, and research being done online…and groaning and gnashing of teeth. From what I gather, it’s an exercise in lying to oneself about people who regularly lie about not lying to them.
Boo: That’s confusing as all get out.
Yeti: That’s why it’s doublespeak.
Boo: People sure do lots of things they hate. They must be unbalanced.
Yeti: That’s what they said about some of “them”.
Boo: What “they” who said about “them” who?
Yeti: Whom.
Boo: I just asked you that.
Yeti: No, about “Them” whom. That’s what they – our people – said about them.
Boo: “Them” whom then?
Yeti: “Them” the ones Missus and Mister vote for…or don’t.
Boo: Huh? [Giving up] You’re too fluent in doublespeak yourself. I think you’re one of “them”. You’re as unbalanced as any of “them”.
Yeti: At least I’m not a tree-killer.
Boo: [Pouting] B-b-but that contributes absolutely nothing to the slippery slide!
Yeti: Today is Thanksgiving.
Boo: It’s Turkey Day.
Yeti: It’s more than that. We’re supposed to acknowledge what we’re grateful for. I’ll start: I’m thankful for Missus and Mister.
Boo: I’m thankful for noms.
Yeti: I’m thankful for Mousi.
Boo: I’m thankful for scraps that fall on the floor. [Grins]
Yeti: I’m thankful for you bathing the back of my head. [Hoping Boo will notice]
Boo: I’m thankful for unattended dishes. [Licks chops]
Yeti: [Rolls eyes] Fine. Then I’m thankful for a warm, cozy home.
Boo: I’m thankful for turkey tidbits! [Smack! Smack!]
Yeti: I’m thankful we’re all happy and healthy.
Boo: I’m thankful for cheese, and milk, and pudding, and fish, and….
Yeti: [Under her breath] I’m thankful I’m not such a single-minded glutton.
Boo: …and chicken, and barbecue pork, and drips of butter, and…. Whew! I’m thank-full.
Yeti: I guess that’s what it’s all about. Sort of….
Yeti: [Stumbling upon a newly-appeared cache of Holiday wraps and bows] Ah-hahaha…I know what this means!
Boo: Oh boy!!! [Charges into the pile, scattering cardboard, tissue and ribbon everywhere]
Yeti: [Hearing approaching footsteps] Ssshhh! You blew it noisy girl – here she comes.
Boo: Rats. Scram!
Missus: [Entering the area in a panic] Kitties! Outta there! [She flushes them out of the room and closes the door.] I can’t leave my guard down for one moment with you two. Gnawing ribbons is dangerous. I shouldn’t have left the door open. Go on now; scoot!
Kitties: Mew? Purrroww?
Missus: Go on. Santa’s going to leave coal in your stockings, if you’re not careful.
Boo: [In a whisper to Yeti as they skedaddle] Is that edible?
Yeti: [Whispering back] If you like stuff on fire.
Boo: [Out loud, sticking her tongue out] No thanks.
Missus: [From the room they were just in] Hello? Kitties, is that you?
Yeti: [Still whispering to Boo] Keep it down; you’re going to ruin us! [Boo winces; they run upstairs]
Boo: That was close!
Yeti: We have a pact; she just can’t catch us talking. There’s a lot of sneaking around hiding things this time of year, and we’re going to have to be extra careful; we’re too in the habit of using their language. I’m putting the kibosh on it for now.
Boo: Even on the mlog?
Yeti: No, silly.
Boo: Right. What fun are the holidays if we can’t mess with their minds? [She jumps as a toy fish lands next to them from out of nowhere] MEOW!
Yeti: [Facepaws] We’re through….
Boo: [Rattled, whispering again] …uh…w-where is she? [Yeti shrugs, scouts and returns]
Yeti: I don’t see her. She must have thrown it up the stairwell and left. We’re safe. Whew.
Boo: Or…she’s messing with us.
Both Kitties: [Tails drooping with dread] Nooo….
Missus: [Coming up the stairs] Kitties! Who wants supervised ribbon-playing time?
Kitties: Meow! Me! Mew! Me!
Missus: Aw, you’re almost talking. There it is. Get it! Yeah, that’s right! Good girls!
Yeti: [Looking up at Peekaboo] Purrmow.
Boo: Meowow. [Hops off counter]
Yeti: Miaoww mew mow.
Boo: Oh, for crying out loud, we’ve been speaking “people” so long that our own language sounds like blah blah blah even to me anymore. No wonder they can’t understand us.
Yeti: You’re just failing to appreciate the subtle nuances in our native tongue.
Boo: I kinda like speaking “people”. It’s like we’re using a fun secret code.
Yeti: To hide our conversations from whom? I think you have that backward.
Boo: Whatever. I like our People world. It’s fun, and we don’t have to hunt.
Yeti: Yes, you just swipe whatever’s in reach.
Boo: I figure leftovers are left out for me. You know, like a Christmews gift.
Yeti: You’re going to regret some of the foods and beverages you procure someday.
Boo: Nah. There’s a new thing around this month. It’s called egg nog; it’s divine.
Yeti: Yawn. People food…blecch.
Boo: Your loss – more for me. Stuff’s so good it makes me go stupid.
Yeti: Really? How can you t- …um, never mind.
Boo: Huh? Oh. [Sticking out her tongue]
Yeti: Why don’t you use that thing on some nog?
Boo: Happy holidays, indeed.
Boo: [Beat-boxing] Boo, ch! Ba-boo-boo-ch! Boo-ch! Ba-boo-boo-ch!
Yeti: What on earth are you doing?
Boo: With all this wrapping, I thought I ought to join in.
Yeti: I’m not sure you’re interpreting that right.
Boo: I’m thinking outside of the gift box.
Yeti: Fine, I’m up for a laugh.
Boo: Boo, ch! Ba-boo-boo-ch! My name is Boo; don’t you make me blue / Just give me something that I can chew–
Yeti: Oh, please stop; that’s horrible already. And it’s not exactly got the spirit of Christmas to it.
Boo: I don’t want to sing about ghosts. It’s not even Halloween.
Yeti: It’s not that kind of spirit!
Boo: Don’t harsh my groove! I’m beat-boxing.
Yeti: The only box that belongs in is the litter box. And what is that thing on your head?
Boo: It’s my boo-rag.
Yeti: I don’t think that’s right either.
Boo: Oh, leave me alone; what do you know about rap?
Yeti: Nothing, thankfully. Wrap with a “W” is way more interesting to me! [Charges through some leftover scraps, making a pleasing rustling sound] I guess I’m hopelessly old-fashioned.
Boo: Nappy Boo Year.
Yeti: You mean Happy New Year.
Boo: You have it your way; I’ll have it mine.
Yeti: Let me guess: you, Peekaboo, are resolving to nap more this year.
Boo: Well, that’s only part of it. I resolve also to make this “The Year of Boo”.
Yeti: What?
Boo: [Mumbles and then goes silent]
Yeti: What? …Oh, if you’re not even going to try to be understandable I give up.
Boo: [Stares silently through Yeti until she turns to leave] BOO!!!!!
Yeti: [Jumping a foot in the air] Gadzooks! Don’t do that!
Boo: There’s your first one. Oh, you’re in for it this year. All year. Heheheheh…
Yeti: [Coolly] Just remember which one of us is bigger.
Boo: Boo. [Backs away, keeping an eye on Yeti] At least I can jump up out of your reach.
Yeti: I thought so. BOO-hoo. You’d best stick to your nap resolution instead.
Boo: [Under her breath] You have to sleep sometime….
Yeti: [Under hers] So do you….
Boo: [Rounding a corner and catching site of Yeti] Bwaaaahahaha! Check you out!
Yeti: [Pouting] Stop it! I didn’t get any choice in this! It’s another confounded photo shoot. I didn’t realize at first that this one involved costuming.
Boo: Aw, now, it isn’t all that bad. The sweater really brings out your eyes. And it shows that your figure is slimmer than most folks assume. I admit it’s actually flattering.
Yeti: It’s unnatural! Ugh, it’s revolting being dressed like this. I can barely move. How can our people stand doing this all the time?
Boo: I thought you said it was because of their furlessness.
Yeti: Yes on that – but I have fur!!!
Boo: She only puts it on you if she’s letting you play in the snow, and you love that.
Yeti: But I’ve done that fine without clothes on.
Boo: [Teasing] Exhibitionist!
Yeti: I’m hardly immodest with all this flowing fur! Stop antagonizing me!
Boo: But…it’s so much fun. [Mischievous grin]
Boo: Wow, you’re stylin’ there.
Yeti: I trust you aren’t being sarcastic.
Boo: Shows what you know. Now, why would you think that I would be sarcastic?
Yeti: Because you find it to be fun.
Boo: And you don’t?
Yeti: Of course I do.
Boo: So we understand each other.
Yeti: [Shrugs] Cats are cats. It’s what we do.
Boo: It’s so hard to ruffle your fur when you’re in these moods.
Yeti: What moods?
Boo: Your Pollyanna-Zen-life-is-great-as-seen-through-rose-colored-glasses moods.
Yeti: Well, you make it sound like a bad thing.
Boo: Only mildly annoying. Then you get me caught up in it.
Yeti: Well, you should try it.
Boo: Try what?
Yeti: Looking at life through rose-colored glasses.
Boo: Those must be some really RED roses, by the way.
Yeti: Indeed, it actually is a little challenging to see that way.
Boo: [trying on the heart-shaped, intensely red sunglasses] Ooh! It looks angry to me.
Yeti: Red is a color that is symbolic of many different feelings; I suppose it’s up to individual interpretation.
Boo: These things make me dizzy. I can’t focus. [Gives the shades back to Yeti] Here. These clash with my fur anyway.
Yeti: But they go perfectly with my little pink-heart nose.
Boo: And my little pink-heart tongue – oh blecch already. [Sticks her tongue out at Yeti]
Yeti: Your tongue looks quite red to me. Perhaps you have strep throat.
Boo: That’s not seeing life very rosy – oh, take those fool red things off!
I <3 (__(>^.,.^<) (=^.,.^=)__)
Boo: Oh, my goodness! Finally! I thought Missus would never come back.
Yeti: I didn’t even realize she was leaving.
Boo: You didn’t notice two weeks of packing before she left? I knew something was up. You practically slept through it all anyway.
Yeti: Oh, you know sometimes she just rearranges stuff; I don’t make assumptions. However, I would like to know why Mister didn’t go with her. They never cease making me nauseous with all their cuddling. It must have been hard for them to stop so long.
Boo: At least when they do that with each other, they ignore you. Anyway, I heard he didn’t have some paper he needed.
Yeti: Humans and their stupid papers! They make life so complicated.
Boo: I’ll never understand why some papers are so important when they throw so much of it away. Well, we were all lost without her. So much time between meals….
Yeti: I was lost without the laptop. I couldn’t even post anything while she was gone.
Boo: But I thought you were magic.
Yeti: Not without limitation!
Boo: OooOOooh.
Yeti: [Squinting] What?
Boo: [Smugly] Nothing.
Yeti: Frankly I’m a little miffed. She didn’t consider taking us, and hasn’t even told us what she was doing in this “Israel” place. I want to know what’s so much more important than we are.
Boo: You wanted to go??? Poor Mister acted like she went to the moon. I’m just as glad she didn’t take us – and doesn’t tell us. I wouldn’t want her to know what we were doing here.
Yeti: You wouldn’t. And what’s this “we”? Keep me out of it.
Boo: [Frowning] I wonder if she was lonely without us….
Yeti: She wasn’t alone; she went with MamaMister and some others.
Boo: She’s the one who watches us when Mister and Missus go away! [Furrows her brow in thought, then shrugs] I guess one of them has to stay home. Maybe it was Mister’s turn.
Yeti: Then I guess Missus will have a turn sometime soon…meh.
Boo: ‘Meh‘? Aren’t you going to forgive her?
Yeti: [Sighs] I guess I already have…I just like making her grovel.
Boo: Isn’t that a tad bit vindictive?
Yeti: I like to think of it as ‘poetic justice’.
Boo: How’s that?
Yeti: She’s always mauling me, then she leaves me alone, giving me what I want; she comes home and mauls me again and I snub her….
Boo: But that’s what you always do!
Yeti: Oh…yeah.
